Cry out to Him

Psalm 142:3 says, “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.”

A couple days ago I got in the shower- and I cried. A LOT. The shower always seems to me like a good place to cry, for a few reasons:  I don’t have 3 little faces looking at me with worry, I can sort through my thoughts in the quiet, and there’s something about the water washing away my tears that is very comforting.
There wasn’t one thing in particular that was wrong. It was more like a lot of little things. The last few weeks had just seemed like they were sapped of joy. You know what I mean? The kind of days that run together and nothing seems to go right. The I-just-want-to-make-it-to-bedtime-so-I-can-sleep-again kind of days. The kind of days that the devil LOVES.
I’m not sure when the sadness started creeping in. Maybe it started last month with the horrific news of what happened in Newtown. Innocence lost. Mistrust in mankind. Maybe it was a much anticipated trip that didn’t go at all like we had planned. 15 days of sickness. A paycheck that came with less money. Concern for our family. Maybe it was ALL of these things combined.
But that morning, while I cried it all out, I suddenly remembered something I had read in my Beth Moore Bible study- it was like I was SLAPPED in the face with it. We are studying the life of David and Beth says this- “No better time arises to count our blessings than when we’re tempted to believe we have none.” 
I kept crying but also started praying. The water was getting cold but I didn’t care. I had a lot of self-pity to confess, and a whole lot of blessings to thank God for. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, O People; pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” Believe me when I say this: I wasn’t holding anything back. I let it all out- the good, the bad, and the ugly. He wants to hear it all- He wants us to be REAL with Him.
When I got out of the shower my situation hadn’t changed- but my heart had. Hope was making it’s way back in. I realized that I may never know why things happen, but God does.
I was feeling a little like David, I guess. I was scared. But God is teaching me a lot through studying the life of this man. Beth Moore writes, “David knew God had given him the power to subdue all three enemies (a lion, a bear and Goliath), so why did he feel overwhelmed? It may have been because he had never battled a secret enemy. This time he had members of Saul’s entourage pursuing him with secret schemes.”
We may not be getting up and physically going to war, but believe me, we are battling an unseen force. All day. Every Day. I want to tell you something: I fully believe it is NOT a coincidence that every time I sit down to read my Bible a fight breaks out between my kids. It is NOT a coincidence that every Sunday morning and Wednesday night we have utter chaos in our house. Satan wants nothing more than for us to walk through those church doors with frustration, impatience and regret. He would LOVE it if we were distracted. Mad. Bitter. TIRED. Sapped of Joy.
Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Just like David humbly admitted, “rescue me…for they are too strong for me.”, we also need to fall at the feet of God and tell him we need Him. Desperately.
7 ½ years ago my mom, sister and I were getting ready to leave for a young womens retreat. Along with a very good friend, we were going to be leading the music on this much prayed-for weekend. We had been practicing for months, and were so excited to see what God had in store. Just that morning I had called to finalize some things with my mom. Before we hung up I heard my dad yell “I love you, Nik” from somewhere in the background.
5 hours later I was putting away the groceries I had bought for Dave and Emma to have that weekend. The phone rang and this is what I heard - “Nikki, we lost your dad.” My mom’s voice was trembling on the other end of the line. “What?” I said, not quite understanding- I had just talked to him a few hours ago. Everything was fine. Silence. Then I heard the cries, the deep sadness, the confusion. And I knew- my dad was gone. In an instant. Just like that.
I don’t think any of us remember much about those next few months, except for holding on to each other tight and trying to hang on as we braved life without him. God was our strength through it all, even though we didn’t understand.
I often wonder why we spent all those months practicing beautiful ‘God songs’ (as my kids call them) and then never got to go on the weekend. The retreat went on anyway, and God worked wonders on a lot of girls hearts. But the question I always find myself asking is Why then? Why were we totally sapped of all our joy just before a mountain top experience? I don’t know. But God does. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
David didn’t know exactly how things were going to play out. But even as he ran from Saul, he fully trusted God’s plan. Sometimes we have to go through unimaginable hard times. I loved this quote from Beth Moore- “The tricky thing about God’s preparation is how He prepares us- even through trials. We find ourselves saying, ‘I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I never expected this’. Painless or painful, enjoyable or distasteful, God always works to prepare us to serve Him, but He rarely prepares us in ways we expect. As soon as we’ve learned one lesson, He brings another. He will continue to work in us until we see His face, because that, beloved, is the ultimate moment for which we’re being prepared. Make no mistake. Jesus will be worth it. Remember, He thought we were worth it too.”
My hope is that we can just lay it all out- talk to God about anything and everything. He wants us to communicate with him. We may not understand why things are happening, but we can rest assured that God is in control. There is an unseen spiritual battle and Satan is working SO hard to discourage us. Don’t let him! Get in the shower and cry it out if you have to, be frustrated, be confused- but talk to God about it. When you start to feel like God has done nothing for you, stop and think about what He did on the cross. And the many blessings He HAS given us!

Elf on the Shelf

     We have an Elf on the Shelf this year. His name is Sprinkles. Dave’s pretty sure I’m certifiably INSANE by taking this on, and maybe he’s right. I didn’t really NEED one more thing to remember to do. I didn’t really need more stuff to clean up.  I didn’t need to be up late at night planning our next move. I didn’t really need more responsibility.
    But I DID need to laugh. I needed to watch my kids eyes widen in excitement. I needed to hear squeals of laughter. I needed to smile and enjoy some Christmas magic. I needed to have fun. And that’s exactly what happened when Sprinkles came into our house. I don’t think the kids have stopped smiling.
    It does require a lot of brain power, though, and I’m still trying to figure out this gig. The kids have all responded in different ways. Emma is skeptical, of course, but thinks the Elf is HYSTERICAL. Katie mostly just likes to fling it around the room and try to feed it sugar cookies. But Ben- he has whole-heartedly fallen for this little Elf. He leaves food out for him, puts out books for him to read, and even writes him notes.
    The kids couldn’t find Sprinkles one morning. So Emma said, “We have to think like an Elf”. After about 5 minutes of ransacking the house Ben said, “Maybe he was hungry!” All 3 ran into the kitchen going through drawers and cupboards. When they opened the refrigerator there he was- propped up against some Egg Nog, jelly jar opened, holding a big spoon. I seriously don’t think I’ve heard my kids laugh that hard in my life. Music to my ears.

   
But Ben has required me to lay down some ground rules for Elf on the Shelf. He came and woke me up around 4:30 in the morning excited to see what the Elf had been up to. I said sleepily, “Bud, it’s dark out, you need to go back to bed. We’ll check in the morning.” He nodded and walked out. I should have known better. About 2 minutes later I heard a muffled scream and footsteps pounding down the hallway. I sat up and there he was again, breathing really hard.
    “Sprinkles is standing on the table staring at me!” He said in a loud shaky whisper. I tried to shake the sleepiness off. “What? Ok, I’m coming out.” I got up and followed him as he tiptoed to the kitchen. We peeked around the corner and sure enough- through the darkness it looked like a scene from Goonies or something.
    But when I turned on the kitchen lights there was Sprinkles, tied up to a 2 liter bottle surrounded by Army guys. Ben doubled over laughing, no longer scared out of his mind.

Anyway- new rule. They can’t go out to see what the Elf has done until morning.
They also can’t leave notes out telling the Elf to clean their rooms- this has to be done by THEM.
And the Elf doesn’t do homework either, much to Emma’s dismay…..
Stay tuned for more Elf stories…

Thanksgiving in Central Oregon!

We had a great time spending Thanksgiving with Dave's brothers and families! Thanks Mark and Thuy for hosting all of us! The cousins all had an awesome time playing together, lots of food, and the weather was great... I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving too!

Driving over Mt. hood was like a winter wonderland...kiddos were SO excited to see snow!

                                             We had to stop and throw a couple snowballs

The Bros- Mark, Dave, Brian, Adam

                        Kids table! As you can see, 2 of my kids did not want their pics taken..

              Brady and Ben- the stick collectors. These two could have been outside the whole time. if it hadn't                                                            been so cold we would have pitched them a tent!

                                             The guys hanging out at the Old Mill in Bend

        The girls doing some shopping- obviously Katie wasn't too happy about the picture taking thing again.

                               Hughes cousins (Brady was taking a nap)! Happy Thanksgiving!

                     And I sorta like this one A LOT :) She is very happy when she's with her daddy!

A good day

You know those moments you just wish would last forever? It's hard sometimes as a mom with 3 busy energetic kids to slow down and enjoy these moments. But I really try. Because I know that they pass quickly. I know I won't ever get them back. I only have this one chance to experience life with my kids. And on a beautiful fall day, there's nothing more I'd rather do than take a walk with my baby girl. We looked at every beautiful leaf, fuzzy caterpillar, and stray rock. We watched geese fly over our heads. She laughed at the way they "honked" across the sky. She twirled down the sidewalk like a ballerina, and talked about how much she liked chocolate milk. We had so much fun. It was a good day.

Wish list

   Usually I avoid the toy aisles at all cost. It’s just not worth the drama that inevitably comes from strolling through them with 3 kids. But today, I thought it might be fun to do a walk-through and get an idea of what the kids might want for Christmas.
   And surprisingly, they totally got into it without any temper tantrums. All 3 thought it was a blast to point out what they wanted on their Christmas list. (Quick DISCLAIMER: Don’t go out and do this just because I said it worked. Believe me, it could have been the biggest mistake of my life.)
   We had gone through the boy aisles, and were now smack dab in the middle of  Barbie and Littlest Pet Shoppe Heaven. Every few seconds I would hear a loud GASP, a muffled scream, a high pitched squeak with stomping of the feet. Emma was seriously dancing in the aisle as she pointed to everything she wanted to put on her list.
   “Oh my gosh mom this is THE Barbie jetboat I saw on commercial!”, “Oh man look at this SUPER cool Barbie that takes pictures! “Oh my word, seriously! I’ve wanted this my whole life!.” You get the picture. This went on and on.
   I stood there as she pointed to one thing after the other.
   “I know I’m not gonna get all this stuff, but I want to have lots of options,” she said seriously. I agreed that was probably a good idea. Then she let out another squeal, “A Barbie pool! I LOVE IT!” Then she turned to me and said, “Mom, I’m thinking that I’ll just put aisle E9 at Target on my list. That would be so much easier!”
   Now THAT’S thinking outside the box people….

Practice Shower

   The night before my sister Crystal’s baby shower, I was trying to explain to Ben why he couldn’t stay for the party.
“There’s gonna be LOTS of women there at the shower, and absolutely NO boys. You wouldn’t like it at all. That’s why Uncle JD is coming to get you so you can hang out with the guys.” I explained.
There was a few seconds of silence. Then, from the backseat he says in a serious voice, “So, are you all gonna see each other’s butts?”
Another second of silence as I try to process this juicy bit of info.
I said, “Excuse me? What did you just say?“ My sister Alicia is cracking up now in the passenger seat.
“You know, when you’re all in the shower. Will you see each other’s butts?” he said.
Now I’m trying not to laugh. “Buddy, this isn’t a REAL shower!”
“Oh, so it’s just a practice shower?” He was obviously perplexed.
Hmmmm… “No, it just means that we’re showering Auntie Crystal with presents- not taking a real shower!”
“Oh, I get it now!” He seemed relieved and quickly moved on to talking about something else.
Poor kid. I’m a tad concerned that he’s spent the last 2 weeks thinking that 30 women were going to be taking a shower together at this party. And come to think of it, a tad concerned that he wanted to come in the first place…

Pilgrims and Indians

The kids had their Thanksgiving feast at church the other night. They had so much fun dressing up and eating with the Primetimer class! Emma's best friends Preslie and Paige go with us to Odyssey every wedneday night, and they dressed as cute little pilgrims. My kiddos were Indians. So much fun :)

Curious George and Smarties

   I was putting Katie down for a nap yesterday, and she was NOT happy. The tears were flowing, and I could see a temper tantrum in my future. I sat her on the edge of the bed and said, “Do you see how tired you are? That’s why you need to sleep.”
   She shook her head and cried, “I don’t want to sleep! I want to watch Curious George and eat Smarties!”      She threw herself down on the bed.
   Oh, geez…Like THAT was gonna happen.
  “You can watch curious George when you wake up. But no smarties.” I said.
   She sat up and rubbed my face. “Please mommy, one pack of smarties.” The eyes are killing me. Had to make my exit fast. I laid her down and covered her with blankets.
   “Go to sleep, we have a big day ahead of us,” I said.
   She struggled to sit up again and pleaded, “But mommy, I only have a little day ahead for me.” Then she stuck her lip out.
I    made it to the hallway before I busted up laughing. I swear, kids are too smart for their own good sometimes.

3rd grade plant project

Emma is really loving 3rd grade. Well, most of it anyway. There is a lot more homework, which she's not thrilled about, but she loves being one of the older kids at her school. The third graders get to do a lot more big projects, and she's having fun with that. One of the 1st semester projects was completing a 3-dimensional plant model. Hers turned out great and she even got to use her label maker! good job Em!

Mystery in the bathroom

I’m very confused. While giving Katie a bath tonight I saw something strange behind the toilet. Upon closer inspection I found about 10 squiggly crusty ramen noodles.  I have no words. When did we eat ramen noodles last? Was someone eating them AND going to the bathroom? Why are they behind the toilet? Who would have ramen noodles in the bathroom? Sooo many questions. I may never know the answer to this one…

Boy Logic

Me: “Ben, are you and Elijah still hanging out at recess?”
Ben: “No, we’re not friends anymore.”
Me: (eyes wide with shock) “What? Why? What happened?”
Ben: (shrugging his shoulders) “Nothing. I think we just forgot about each other.     It happens a lot, you know.”
Me: “Ok, but nothing bad happened, right?”
Ben: “Don’t worry, We’ll become friends again someday when we remember about each other.”

Back in time:Halloween

I'm totally blaming it on the flu, but I'm way behind with posts on here. I never posted Halloween pictures of the kids. This year, we had a Supergirl, a Knight and a princess clown. The kids had a blast. Katie wasn't sure what was going on, but dutifully followed her brother and sister up to doors and was very happy to receive candy :) About halfway through trick-r-treating, they were walking back to the sidewalk when a little boy passed her wearing some kind of freaky mask. She yelled and took off running full speed screaming, "Daddy, daddy, Daddy" at the top of her lungs. Luckily Dave was there to scoop her up. I think it took her a good 10 minutes to calm down. When confronted with a "monster", it's good to know your daddy will be there to protect you. Hope you all had a good Halloween!