Conspiracy Theory

   Right now, I have no sound evidence to support my theory, but I do believe there is a conspiracy going on in my house. I don't know how to prove it, but I am beginning to believe that when our house was built, there were secret alarms installed on every bathroom door. And not just regular alarms, little tiny ones that make sounds only children can hear. When a bathroom door is shut, the alarm somehow alerts every kid within a 10 mile radius that an adult has entered the bathroom and it is now their cue to need something RIGHT NOW. This same alarm triggers something in their brain that needs food right that instant, or makes them suddenly realize they want to fight with each other.
   With 2 year olds, the alarm seems to alert them of their desperate need to be by your side every moment, and causes them to lie down outside the bathroom door and wail at the top of their lungs. These are just a few examples. I have more. For instance, yesterday I waited to take a shower until Katie went down for a nap. I knew from the way she smiled at me that she wasn't going to sleep. But, she could at least rest in there. Five minutes later I am just starting to wash my hair when I hear the bathroom door open and Emma say, "Mom, I got Katie out of the crib for you. She was just yelling in there anyway." I can tell from her voice that she's pretty proud of herself and I hear her set Katie down and close the door behind her. I just love taking a shower with a crying little girl pounding on the door.  I'm going to remember this when Emma's birthday rolls around..
   Every. Single. Time. I shut that bathroom door there are kids on the other side knocking, yelling, or asking me questions. Yesterday I decided to put it to the test. Dinner had been eaten, Dave was home, a movie was going and all seemed peaceful. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but I went in there and shut the door. BAM! I think it was 30 seconds later I heard a knock. "Mom, I have to go potty so bad!" I gently remind Ben that there is another bathroom he can use. "Oh yeah", he says and stomps away. A minute later I see Katie's fingers poking through the crack by the floor. "Hi momma". Then she sits down and bangs her head against the door.
   Do you understand me people? Does this make any sense? Am I right to be paranoid? I would call and talk to my mom about this, but I know what she'll tell me. She'll tell me the story of 3 little girls in the 80's who thought it would be so funny to pick the lock on the bathroom door and scare their mom while she was trying to have some alone time. (Sorry Mom).
   The only conclusion I can make is that these silent bathroom door alarms must date back to the late 70's, it's the only explanation for it. To all the other moms out there, good luck going to the bathroom while there are kids in your house.