I learned a long time ago that my kids become the best truth-tellers when we’re at the Dr.’s office. Nothing is off limits and when they’re on that exam table I am completely helpless to what will come out of their mouths next. You know those yearly well child questionnaires you have to fill out? About safety, development, diet and TV time? Yeah, don’t ever fib on those, because your kids will rat you out as soon as you step in that office. Better just to be truthful from the start- then you might make it out alive.
At Emma’s 4 year check up I marked that yes, of course my child only eats fast food maybe once a week. During our visit, her Dr. said, “And it looks like you’re doing great with fast food, only once a week.” Emma’s face kinda looked puzzled, and then she said, “We eat at McDonalds all the time.” Okay, just breathe, I thought to myself. I can get through this. Then the Dr. asked Emma what her favorite fruit or vegetable was. Emma said, “What’s a fruit?”. OH MY WORD. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.
At Ben’s visit last year she asked him what his favorite thing to do was. “Watch TV!” he said very enthusiastically. Hmmm.. I’m not winning Mother of the Year so far. There have been so many other things shared in the confines of that little room. “My mom lets us skip brushing our teeth sometimes when she’s really tired”. Or another little gem “One time we went a whole week without taking our vitamins!” ( Really? You really felt like you needed to
I always feel like I want to scream “I do feed them vegetables, I really do! You’ve got to believe me, I don’t know why they’re saying this, but I do limit screen time! Do you see I have three of them??? Do you see? They totally outnumber me here!”
But really its no use. Their wonderful Dr. just smiles and makes notes in her chart. I’m choosing to believe she’s writing down a note to remember to pray for me.
Today was not an exception. I took Ben in for his 5 year check-up and wisely filled out the form as truthfully as possible. Under the section on “Do you have any concerns about your child’s health you wish to discuss?” I marked NO. I didn’t really think there was. So, off we go with the check-up. Ben is charming as usual, and when asked what his favorite food is he says, “Coconut and Salmon”. Whew…. I smile proudly. He goes on to tell her how we are making superfood smoothies and then tells her that I make him work out with me sometimes. Hmmm.. She glances at me and I clarify “He wants to work out with me, for his muscles.” As if on cue, Ben flexes his HUGE muscles for her to see. So far so good. Then she says, “Well, everything looks pretty good here, it says you don’t have any concerns about him. So he’s good till next year. Do you have any concerns, Benjamin?”
He looks at her and says, “I have been having really bad headaches every day. My mom sometimes forgets to give me Tylenol.” Dang, I almost made it this time. Oh well, there’s always next check-up for me to seem like a super-mom. Here’s hoping…
