“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise."
C.S. Lewis
It’s been 38 days since we got back from Disneyland. And this is the first time I have convinced myself to re-live the trip and write about it- not because I intentionally like to torture myself, but because I needed to see every bit of good amidst all the bad.
As most of you know, I couldn’t even post the pictures from our trip (the few we had anyway) let alone talk about it much. I think I cried for a week once our plane touched down in Portland. But God has been working on my heart through all of this- even when I’ve been fighting Him every step of the way. I learned things about myself that needed to change, I’ve learned a lot about trusting in God’s perfect plan, and I certainly learned where every single bathroom is at the happiest place on earth.
But before I lay out what’s on my heart, I’ll give you a quick re-cap of our much anticipated trip to Anaheim, California. (especially for those reading this that have no idea what I’m talking about so far-ha!)
Travel Day-
Spirits are SKY-HIGH! The trip we’ve been dreaming about for years is finally here! We pick up the kids from school and head to the airport.
**Highlights**
-no one cried going through security (believe me, it’s happened before)
- The kids cheering when the Flight Attendant came on and said, “And for our passengers going to Disneyland, have a great time!” So far, the trip was perfect.
Day 1-
Up bright and early ready for Disneyland! The kids were in complete awe and amazement as we walked down Main Street.
My first clue that something ominous was about to happen? I fell off the Dumbo ride.
YES, go ahead and read that sentence again- because it’s TRUE. Not while it was spinning, of course, but totally fell on my face climbing out of it while everyone waiting in line watched me. Maybe we should have called it quits right then and there…
**Highlights**
-Ben lost his tooth coming out of Star Tours
-Emma rode the Matterhorn 4 times
-Katie yelling, “I love this ride so much!” and the top of her lungs on Pirates of the Carribean.
Day 2-
Ben woke up and puked. I walked a mile to Target to get medicine. I walked a mile back. I started puking. No Disneyland today. I don’t remember much else.
**Highlights**
-Dave took Emma and Kate to Downtown Disney to sit in the sun. Apparently that was really fun, assuming the alternative was listening to heaving back at the hotel.
-It was AWESOME to try and use what little Spanish I know to explain to the poor housekeeping lady that our bed sheets and towels were covered in vomit. I wanted to hug her and say how so very sorry I was. While she cleaned our room I held Ben out in the hallway and tried to not dry-heave. (Later he told me it was fun spending time with me all by himself- kids are so positive).
Day 3-
We tried to go to California Adventure in the afternoon. We bought $50 worth of corn dogs and milkshakes that no one ate, and stared at the Mickey Wheel that no one wanted to go on. We visited EVERY bathroom in the park on this day.
**Highlights**
-The kids rode Helmets Chew-Chew train 5 times because it was slow and didn’t spin.
-We watched the Pixar parade and got to meet Lightening McQueen.
-We learned that it is entirely possible to walk miles and miles carrying kids while feeling naseuos and breaking out in cold sweats.
Day 4-
Emma woke up at 3am throwing up. Katie also threw up but mainly because our room was so disgusting. Dave took Katie to Disneyland in the morning and I took Ben in the afternoon. Emma does not remember this day.
**Highlights**
-Katie dancing with Mary Poppins
-watching Jedi Knight training with Ben
-watching the fireworks from our hotel room while sipping ginger ale and eating saltines. The occasional barfing noise in the background just added to the ambiance of the evening.
Day 5-
Tried California Adventure again. We had to rent another stroller because Emma was too exhausted to walk. Ben couldn’t even eat Cotton Candy. Dave almost passed out in the middle of Buena Vista Street. We mostly sat in the sun and didn’t talk much.
**Highlights**
-Watching Aladdin
-no one threw up while we watched Aladdin
-seeing Katie’s face as she watched the Disneyland Parade
Day 6-
Dave wakes up sick. He can’t even sit up. I didn’t know what to do. There was no way we could all be holed up in a tiny hotel room all day. I make the long walk over to the parks with Katie. Then I walk back and get Emma and Ben a few hours later. We all just want to go home.
**Highlights**
-Buying Ben an $8 hotdog and then realizing ½ an hour later that we left it on the condiment table. So I bought him another $8 hotdog that he promptly dropped on the ground after a few bites. I asked him if those 3 bites were worth $16- he said “Yes”.
- Riding CARS with Emma and Ben
-watching Katie meet Tinkerbell and Aurora
Travel Day home-
Katie wakes up sick. I almost kiss our taxi driver because I’m so grateful to be going home. We make it through 2 plane rides only by the grace of God. Dave is so sick he only has enough energy to look straight ahead and carry kids and suitcases when he has to.
**Highlight**
-As our plane began its descent, we left the warm sun and slowly entered into a thick layer of clouds. Ben looked out the window at the thick fog and rain and said, “Now it feels like home!”
So, there ya have it. Even as I write all this I can’t believe it happened this way. But I am slowly- slowly- seeing some humor in it all. Dave and I have been through a lot together, and this week was another doozy. But we survived, we pulled together, and maybe one day we’ll realize that this trip wasn’t about breaking us- it was actually about strengthening us.
It wasn’t the trip we had planned. NOTHING about it went how I had pictured in my head. But I’m not the one in control. Even though I want to be. And that’s one of the things God is teaching me. I did everything in my power to make this trip a success except give it over to God. I’m not saying that He was punishing me, I’m simply saying I needed to learn from this. I’m not in control and sometimes hard things need to happen in order for us to grow. I love the saying “It’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” SO TRUE.
God has also been speaking to my heart about something else. I put a lot of stock in this trip. A LOT. For years I had only dreamed of being able to take the kids to Disneyland. Then as it became a possibility, I began to think this trip was going to be the answer to everything. The last year had been pretty rough. Katie was sick a lot, and had to have surgery. Emma had been dealing with insomnia. We had lots of family things we were worried about and Dave had been working really hard. We were TIRED. Emotionally and physically.
We needed a break, and for the months leading up to the trip, I thought it would solve all our problems. It was all I was thinking about, and all I was putting my hope in. Have you ever wanted something that bad? I desperately wanted to reclaim some sort of peace for our family, and I thought this trip was it. It was going to renew us.
But my hope was in the things of the world. And that’s what God has been telling me since we got back. My intentions were good but my focus was not in the right place- My hope should be in God. All along God was there, waiting for me to put my hope in Him, to know and understand that HE was what I needed- what my family needed. 1 John 2: 15-17 says, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”
Now, I’m not saying that a trip to Disneyland is bad. Or that buying a new car or clothes is bad. Those things are fun and special. But it’s our attitude about these things that matters. I hadn’t intentionally left God out of the equation, but I desperately knew I had things to learn from this trip. God is our refuge and our strength. He alone can renew us in the way we need. He is our hope. Not a theme park. Not a new house. Not those awesome shoes in the mall window. These things will make us feel good for awhile, but they will not solve our problems. God will always be there for us.
Always. Put you hope in Him.
