Let me set the stage for you so you all can fully comprehend what I’m about to share. We had the car packed to the brim with sleeping bags, suitcases, beach toys, kites, 1 dog, 3 kids and a partridge in a pear tree. Anyway, you get the point. We were cruising down the road on our way to see family, play at the beach, and hopefully get some rest. Everyone was pretty happy, the trip non-eventful so far. But, as it goes with most of our vacations or outings, this was to be short lived.
As most of you know from past stories I’ve told, Ben is notorious for having to go to the bathroom at the most inconvenient times. Every single time we go out to eat he has to go #2. It never fails. The minute I start bagging groceries at Winco he ALWAYS has to go. Standing on 2nd base during his baseball game he starts doing the dance. Basically if there’s not a toilet in a 5 mile radius you can bet that he’ll need one.
So on Thursday, as we made the 2-hour drive south, we had already stopped twice for potty breaks. We were on the home stretch, only 15 minutes from out destination. That’s when I heard Ben say, “I have to go potty SO BAD!” Grrrr… Dave says, “You just went 30 minutes ago, can’t you hold it?” Then the panicking starts. “It’s gonna come out! I can’t hold it!” Folks, there was no place to pull over. So, I quickly scanned the contents of the car and my eyes fell on a Panda Express Cup. I grabbed it, took the lid off, and told Ben to pee in the cup. He’s done it before, so he knew the drill.
He hopped down from his seat, I reached back with the cup and said, “Make sure you aim right into the cup, ok?” Well, I’m still trying to figure out what happened next. Pretty much all H--L broke loose. Pee starting flying EVERYWHERE. Dave got hit in the head first, and still managed to keep his eyes on the road (he‘s got super powers I think). The front seats and ceiling got sprayed. My arm was soaked. We both yelled “What are you doing?” Unfortunately, this made Ben turn and spray what was left of his potty ALL OVER EMMA.
That’s when the shrieking began. Emma was MORTIFIED. Her right pant leg was soaked, all up her sweatshirt and sadly, some even got on her hand. Basically the end of the world to her. She screamed, “Thanks a lot Ben!” And then just started to sob uncontrollably. This made Katie cry, I was yelling at Ben, and Dave was….laughing (it must be his coping mechanism). Ben crawled back up in his seat and just watched the chaos unfold. Apparently he felt a lot better. Once I got as much cleaned up as I could, and Emma’s sobs got a little quieter, Dave said, “What were you doing Ben? What happened???” Ben said, “I started to go and then I think the wind just flew my pee everywhere. Sorry.” Ummmm…really?? I was still in shock. “Ben, there’s no wind, we’re in THE CAR!” He just shrugged and said, “Well, it’s really hard to go potty into a cup when your bumping around on the road.”
I learned some valuable things from this experience:
#1- Don’t trust your 5 year old to pee in a cup while you’re cruising down the highway.
#2- Don’t give him ANY fluid before a road trip.
#3- If your 8 year old daughter gets peed on by her brother, don’t expect her to be ok with it until she turns
9 (or NEVER.)
